


Diversions: A Discord Server

by duplicity



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fans & Fandom, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Discord Au, Fanfiction Writer Tom Riddle, Humor, M/M, this is just entirely chaotic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26783743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duplicity/pseuds/duplicity
Summary: Tom Riddle is an incredibly popular fic author who writes under the pseudonym ‘LordV’ in the James Evans/Elvis Jedusor fandom. In his Discord server, Tom rules with an iron fist and speaks lovingly of his boyfriend Harry. One day, Harry Potter joins the server.For those of you who keep asking, no, Harry's role of@Best Boyfriend in the Worldwas not self-assigned, as I am the only person with role creation permissions, and I WILL NOT be entertaining discussions on this matter.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Comments: 399
Kudos: 314





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Caesarion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caesarion/gifts), [Sakuragane_San](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakuragane_San/gifts), [TomarryHereWeWhoaAgain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomarryHereWeWhoaAgain/gifts), [Nyan_chanX3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyan_chanX3/gifts), [alfisha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alfisha/gifts), [wanderingdoe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingdoe/gifts), [DreamingofSleeping](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingofSleeping/gifts), [itsevanffs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsevanffs/gifts), [ThePinkJellyfish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePinkJellyfish/gifts), [Faisalliot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faisalliot/gifts), [hypnagogia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypnagogia/gifts), [assaic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/assaic/gifts), [Top7879](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Top7879/gifts), [Wooly_Marmalade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wooly_Marmalade/gifts), [MoonlightDragon777](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightDragon777/gifts), [super_duper_cool_kid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/super_duper_cool_kid/gifts), [ChibiPenguin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiPenguin/gifts), [Silverfox579](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverfox579/gifts), [goldenzingy46](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenzingy46/gifts), [littlecupkate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlecupkate/gifts), [AnElvenCatNamedJuice (HollowLies)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowLies/gifts), [ElleVarem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElleVarem/gifts), [cealesti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cealesti/gifts), [synaxarion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/synaxarion/gifts), [AdrianaSlytherin20](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianaSlytherin20/gifts).



> based on a crack prompt by Romée in my own discord server, and dedicated to all the heathens who encouraged this monstrosity to finally materialize into a physical form.

_#introduction_ | My introduction.

* * *

**LordV** | 10/2/2018

**HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE DARK REVEL.**

You will know me as **LordV,** author of fanfiction written for the James Evans/Elvis Jedusor ship.

On this server, we subscribe to what is known in popular culture as 'Word of God'. In the case of petty squabbles and arguments, my word is final. There is no recourse—you WILL be kicked and banned instantly.

Furthermore, failure to exercise an ability to read and comprehend basic discussion (does NOT include asking for clarification as long as questions are respectful and well thought-out) will also result in heavy warnings and eventually kicks.

Channel explanations can be found in the **#mandates** channel. Failure to adhere to channel rules will result in heavy warnings and, yes, eventual kicks.

Lastly, my moderation team will monitor this server for infractions and unacceptable behaviour, as laid out in the **#mandates** channel. Mods can be pinged using the **@Inner Circle** command.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS ENTIRELY CRACKY, HAS NO PLOT, AND IS SUBJECT TO CHAPTERS THAT ARE LIKE 100 WORDS LONG. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.


	2. Mandates

_#mandates_ | Contains server rules and information.

* * *

**LordV** | 10/2/2018

**SERVER MANDATES.**

**1\. Discord ToS**

> It is mandatory to adhere to Discord's ToS and Community Guidelines.
> 
> Explicit NSFW discussion is not permitted except in the designated channel. Age-appropriate behaviour is a strict requirement.

**2\. Moderation Team**

> The **@Inner Circle** indicates those who will moderate channel discussion and enforce server rules. If you have an issue that requires moderator aid, you may ping this role.

**3\. Stay On-Topic**

> Channels have labels for usage. Use them.

* * *

**CHANNEL INFORMATION.**

**Category: Welcome**

> _#introduction_ | My introduction.  
>  _#mandates_ | Contains server rules and information.  
>  _#entrance-hall_ | Welcoming new Death Eaters.

**Category: Lord V**

> _#announcements_ | Announcements for the server.  
>  _#updates_ | Links for updates of my works.

**Category: Jedusor Manor**

> _#first-floor_ | General channel for talking.  
>  _#second-floor_ | Also for general talking.  
>  _#the-graveyard_ | Channel for NSFW talking.  
>  _#rewards_ | For using Dark Mark and other bots. THIS IS A NO CHAT CHANNEL.  
>  _#archive_ | For archiving notable server moments.

**Category: Hogwarts**

> _#the-great-hall_ | For discussion on my current works.  
>  _#the-library_ | For discussion on my past works.  
>  _#the-trophy-room_ | For compiled links and information on all my works.

**Category: V is Talking**

> _#auditorium_ | For voice chat usage.

* * *

**SERVER ROLES.**

Rewards are added based on activity. You will receive XP for messaging in the server.

Check your level with the _alevel_ command in the #rewards channel.

Rewards for **Diversions:**

> Level **5** : **@Cannon Fodder**  
>  Level **10** : **@Slightly Useful**  
>  Level **20** : **@Crucio Fodder**  
>  Level **30** : **@Competent Minion**  
>  Level **50** : **@Outer Circle**

* * *

**WARNINGS.**

Inappropriate behaviour will be punished with the **@Crucio** role. With this role applied, you will not earn XP and you will be restricted to the white role colour for the duration of your punishment.

Appeals can be brought to any of my **@Inner Circle.**

* * *

**SERVER INVITE LINK.**

This link may be shared with others to recruit to our ranks. Referrals will be tracked.

<https://discord.gg/mQBPT65>


	3. DMs with Harry

**@ThePlotter** _AKA_ Harry, The Chosen One, Plotter

* * *

**TMR** | Today at 6:18 PM **  
**

Harry? Are you here?

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:18 PM ****

yeah what is it

**TMR** | Today at 6:19 PM

[ https://discord.gg/mQBPT65 ](https://discord.gg/mQBPT65)

> YOU SENT AN INVITE TO JOIN A SERVER
> 
> **Diversions** #introduction


	4. Welcome to Diversions

_#entrance-hall_ | Welcoming new Death Eaters.

* * *

**Nagini [BOT]** | Today at 6:20 PM

> **WELCOME TO DIVERSIONS.**
> 
> Welcome **ThePlotter#0077** to Diversions 💀
> 
> **@ThePlotter** , please read **#introduction** and **#mandates** before proceeding to other channels.
> 
> If you have questions, members of my **@Inner Circle** are available to be pinged for assistance.
> 
> _We now have 175 Death Eaters._

**Cygnus Moon Black** | Today at 6:20 PM

Welcome!!

**bellatrixie** | Today at 6:20 PM

FRESH MEAT

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 6:20 PM

welcome!

**Druella Rosier-Black** | Today at 6:21 PM

oooo new person welcome!

**Abraxas Malfoie** | Today at 6:24 PM **  
**

Hello!! What fic brings you to the server?

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 6:24 PM ****

welcome!!

**bellatrixie** | Today at 6:30 PM

OMG THEIR ROLE IS PINK WTF??????

* * *

_#first-floor_ | General channel for talking.

* * *

**The Bloody Baron** | Today at 6:24 PM

Bella why are you on crucio again 

**bellatrixie** | Today at 6:24 PM

i did nothing wrong

**Abraxas Malfoie** | Today at 6:24 PM

LET ME EAT MY CHICKEN SANDWICH IN PEACE YOU HEATHEN STOP MISBEHAVING

**sharkinson** | Today at 6:28 PM

so… is _anyone_ going to explain why bella is under crucio?

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 6:28 PM

she was talking in **#rewards** again

she shall be missed

**bellatrixie** | Today at 6:28 PM

i did nothing wrong!!

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 6:30 PM

you’re lucky our Lord isn’t here to see this

**bellatrixie** | Today at 6:30 PM

where is he i want to know why that pink role is there

**sharkinson** | Today at 6:31 PM

did you not see the role title?

**Andromeda Black** | Today at 6:31 PM

OH SHIT IT'S HARRY YOU FUCKERS WE'RE IN FOR IT NOW


	5. A Group of Like-Minded Individuals

**@ThePlotter** _AKA_ Harry, The Chosen One, Plotter

* * *

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:31 PM

tom

What The Hell Have You Done

**TMR** | Today at 6:31 PM

I don’t know what you mean

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:31 PM

I DID A SEARCH OF MY NAME, THAT’S WHAT I MEAN

you told them i was your boyfriend

**TMR** | Today at 6:31 PM

I was only ever honest

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:31 PM

YOU MAKE ME SOUND LIKE SOME KIND OF BABY ANGEL

**TMR** | Today at 6:32 PM

I never said anything along those lines

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:32 PM

oh my god oh my god

they all think i’m this fluffy angelic boyfriend

what have you done

**TMR** | Today at 6:33 PM

It’s a perfectly respectable internet persona to have

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:33 PM

ONE THAT YOU GAVE ME

**TMR** | Today at 6:33 PM

Are you going to introduce yourself or did you want me to do it?

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:34 PM

i hate you, you can tell them that

i am going to kill you

slowly

with a spoon, not a knife, so that it hurts

**TMR** | Today at 6:34 PM

You’re going to dispel all my hardwork

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:34 PM

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**TMR** | Today at 6:35 PM

So am I introducing you?

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:35 PM

i hate you

no

i’ll do it

* * *

_#entrance-hall_ | Welcoming new Death Eaters.

* * *

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:37 PM

hello i am harry

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 6:37 PM

WELCOME TO THE TRUE LOVE OF OUR LORD. WE ARE BLESSED BY YOUR PRESENCE

**Harry** | Today at 6:37 PM

yeah that’s me uwu !! tom talks about you guys all the time and finally asked me to join

**bellatrixie** | Today at 6:38 PM

does he? does he talk about us?

**Harry** | Today at 6:38 PM

oh yeah he loves you guys!! you’re bella, right? you get crucio’d all the time???

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 6:41 PM

OMG HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE. I NEED TO BE CRUCIO’D NOW SO I CAN ALSO BE KNOWN BY HARRY

**Harry** | Today at 6:42 PM

wait what

* * *

_#second-floor_ | Also for general talking.

* * *

**Violent Psychological Fragment** | Today at 6:38 PM

17\. He's very confident

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 6:38 PM

18\. he is very handsome

**Violent Psychological Fragment** | Today at 6:39 PM

19\. Hes charismatic

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 6:39 PM

20\. he has no greasy hair

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 6:40 PM

21\. he can ennunciate avada kedavra really well!

**bellatrixie** | Today at 6:42 PM

oh my god SHUT UP you are embarrassing us in front of harry

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 6:43 PM

no you shut up bella !!! we’re simping

 **@LordV** milord! this is dedicated to you :D

**Violent Psychological Fragment** | Today at 6:43 PM

22\. He's clean

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 6:44 PM

23\. he doesn’t give up easily. that’s why he keeps chasing for his arch nemesis for 7 years straight

**LordV** | Today at 6:45 PM

!temprole **@dolohov's side chick** 1h **@Crucio**

**Nagini [BOT]** | Today at 6:45 PM

> Temporary role added
> 
> **@dolohov's side chick** has been granted the **@Crucio** role for 1 hour.

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 6:45 PM

NO MILORD I’M SORRY

please take my lungs as punishment! anything for your approval again

also harry if you’re still here look !! i got crucio like bella !!

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 6:47 PM

i think he left

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 6:49 PM

anyways BACK TO WORSHIPPING OUR ALMIGHTY LORD

* * *

**@ThePlotter** _AKA_ Harry, The Chosen One, Plotter

* * *

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:47 PM

oh my god is this like a cult or something??

WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS

**TMR** | Today at 6:49 PM

I don’t know what you mean

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:49 PM

tom you’re not allowed to have a cult

**TMR** | Today at 6:50 PM

I don’t tell them to do anything, they do it all on their own

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:51 PM

that’s worse somehow

**TMR** | Today at 6:52 PM

I’m naturally this charismatic, yes

People are drawn to me

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:52 PM

i cannot believe you

**TMR** | Today at 6:53 PM

See, this is why I didn’t ask if you wanted to join

I knew you were going to be difficult about this

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:55 PM

DIFFICULT??? you made it sound like a perfectly normal group of people who like your fics

**TMR** | Today at 6:55 PM

They are perfectly normal

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:56 PM

all i see is simping

**TMR** | Today at 6:57 PM

Simping is a regular activity of theirs

That and Screw Dumbledore Hour

**ThePlotter** | Today at 6:57 PM

ok i won’t ask. i won’t do it

i'm not gonna ask-

**TMR** | Today at 7:11 PM

Harry? Did you leave?


	6. Simp Hours

_#second-floor_ | Also for general talking.

* * *

**Violent Psychological Fragment** | Today at 7:08 PM

67\. Turned being petty af into a fad

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 7:08 PM

68\. he made us all find like minded people! we will never be alone again :)

**Violent Psychological Fragment** | Today at 7:09 PM

69\. He does not allow moral scruples to stand between him and his goals

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 7:09 PM

70\. he’s fairer than snow white

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 7:10 PM

71\. he has good taste in furniture! and decor our design lord uwu

**bellatrixie** | Today at 7:12 PM

do you think harry’s role is pingable

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 7:43 PM

no, it’s not

**sharkinson** | Today at 7:43 PM

try and do it

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 7:44 PM

do not do that

**LordV** | 7:45 PM

There are two general channels for a REASON. Bella, you’re on thin ice

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 7:47 PM

BACK TO GROVELLING MILORD

* * *

_#first-floor_ | General channel for talking.

* * *

**Cygnus Moon Black** | Today at 7:49 PM

Okay I don’t really want to backread what’s going on in 2nd floor but has anyone seen Harry since he joined?? Did we scare him off??

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 7:51 PM

it’s simp hours again

**regulus black** | Today at 7:51 PM

it says he’s still online?

**Abraxas Malfoie** | Today at 7:55 PM

I HAVE RETURNED WITH A NEW SANDWICH

WHAT DID I MISS

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 7:49 PM

DSC is crucio’d

otherwise nothing much

**bellatrixie** | Today at 7:51 PM

why isn’t harry talking with us :(

**Harry** | Today at 7:51 PM

hi i’m still here, just lurking

**bellatrixie** | Today at 7:53 PM

HARRY

:)

**regulus black** | Today at 7:54 PM

hello!!

**Cygnus Moon Black** | Today at 7:55 PM

It’s more calm here

Just don’t look at 2nd floor

**Harry** | Today at 7:55 PM

too late for that lol

**Lestrange CorvusVI** | Today at 7:55 PM

HA they’re in for it now

**Harry** | Today at 7:56 PM

i didn’t realize tom had such a big following of people!!

**Lucius** | Today at 7:57 PM

We love our Lord’s fics

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 7:58 PM

SUCH AMAZING FICS SUCH TALENT THAT BLESSES OUR EYES thank you thank you thank you lord harry for giving our lord the love he deserves

**Abraxas Malfoie** | Today at 8:00 PM

GO BACK TO 2ND FLOOR

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 8:01 PM

SORRY

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 8:01 PM

1st floor is wholesome floor

**legal baby malfoy** | Today at 8:02 PM

a true safe haven

**Harry** | Today at 8:03 PM

aww haha that’s great!!

**Dorea Black-Potter** | Today at 8:03

Heyo Harry!!

**Harry** | Today at 8:05 PM

hello!! wow you’re all so nice 

wait is that emoji supposed to be me

* * *

_#the-chamber_ | Private channel for Harry and I.

* * *

**LordV** | Today at 8:02 PM

 **@Harry** what are you doing?

**Harry** | Today at 8:03 PM

i’m making friends

**LordV** | Today at 8:04 PM

I thought they weren’t “normal” enough for you

**Harry** | Today at 8:08 PM

HEY WHY ARE THERE EMOJIS BASED ON ME HERE

WHAT IS THIS 

**LordV** | Today at 8:09 PM

My devoted fans made them for me. Some of them charge quite a lot for commissions, I’ll have you know

You should be honoured

**Harry** | Today at 8:10 PM

there are so many things wrong with that sentence i don’t know where to start

**LordV** | Today at 8:11 PM

They even paid to boost the server

We have 150 slots

**Harry** | Today at 8:11 PM

THAT’S SO MANY WHAT

**LordV** | Today at 8:12 PM

Isn’t it brilliant?

**Harry** | Today at 8:13 PM

i’m looking at all these emojis

so many of them are snakes?

**LordV** | Today at 8:14 PM

They’re based on Nagini

**Harry** | Today at 8:15 PM

i don’t like all these ones that are supposed to be me

it’s weird

why are they all so… squishy

**LordV** | Today at 8:15 PM

That’s simply how they see you

**Harry** | Today at 8:17 PM

OMG YEAH SO IT’S YOUR FAULT SMH

**LordV** | Today at 8:18 PM

There’s fanart of us in **#the-trophy-room**

**Harry** | Today at 8:19 PM

ok i’m NOT looking in there until i have had at least three shots in me

**LordV** | Today at 8:22 PM

It only takes you three shots to get drunk

**Harry** | Today at 8:22 PM

EXACTLY

**LordV** | Today at 8:27 PM

I can come over and bring some

**Harry** | Today at 8:27 PM

no u stay right where u are, mr cult leader sir

i need to process the everything about this wack community you’ve built here

**LordV** | Today at 8:30 PM

Fine, then I’ll go back to writing

**Harry** | Today at 8:30 PM

yes providing the content for your thirsty followers

**LordV** | Today at 8:30 PM

Jevans won’t write itself

**Harry** | Today at 8:30 PM

still can’t believe you say that ship name with a straight face


	7. LordV Updates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> to anyone who reads literally anything else other than this that i write, there will be updates for those fics soon lmfao

_#second-floor_ | Also for general talking.

* * *

**Andromeda Black** | Today at 1:15 PM

 **@Lucius** Evan sent Narcissa feeeeet piiiiics

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 1:15 PM

MY LORD

**Andromeda Black** | Today at 1:17 PM

Imagine that in a mocking tone

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 1:18 PM

i swear to the high heavens

i am not a creep

**Harry** | Today at 1:19 PM

omg what is going on here??

**Lucius** | Today at 1:22 PM

I don’t need to know all the goings on in my wife’s life. If she didn’t complain to me, I don’t need to know

**Harry** | Today at 1:22 PM

what a great answer, wow!

how is everyone today? i hope you are all having a lovely time

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 1:27 PM

i honestly. want the locket horcrux to strangle me

**Harry** | Today at 1:29 PM

that sounds fun :)

tom and i went for a walk today

the skies were very pretty ✨

but not as pretty as tom

**Lestrange CorvusVI** | Today at 1:32 PM

We are experiencing true love first hand

WITNESS THIS MOMENT

OUR LORD AND HIS CHOSEN LOVER

**Harry** | Today at 1:33 PM

tom’s busy rn actually!! he’s gonna post a new chapter in a minute :0

**regulus black** | Today at 1:33 PM

oooooo

**Harry** | Today at 1:34 PM

yes and it’s a REALLY good one!! lots of fluff

**Abraxas Malfoie** | Today at 1:34 PM

FLUFF??? LIES AND SLANDER

I KNOW ONLY ANGST BY MY LORD’S HAND

**LordV** | Today at 1:35 PM

My talents are vast. I can write anything. I simply choose to write angst

**Harry** | Today at 1:35 PM

yes tom you are very big brain

**LordV** | Today at 1:37 PM

Anything for your approval, darling

**Harry** | Today at 1:38 PM

awww ily

  
  


* * *

_#the-great-hall_ | For discussion on my current works.

* * *

**Lucretia Black** | Today at 2:28 PM

UPDATE UPDATE!! time to go read

**Abraxas Malfoie** | Today at 2:29 PM

KGJ;LDBHKSGJLKJ;LHDGK;LRS;DHJFLHK

**Druella Rosier-Black** | Today at 2:32 PM

why is it i feel Fear

harry said it was fluff but i’m still afraid

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 2:38 PM

TIME TO GO READ

WHO NEEDS DINNER

**Lucretia Black** | Today at 2:39 PM

no food until the update is consumed

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 2:39 PM

I was going to take a nap...

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 2:42 PM

NOT ANYMORE YOU’RE NOT

HOW COULD YOU FORSAKE OUR LORD AFTER SIMP HOURS

TRAITOR

**snarkinson** | Today at 2:42 PM

snape is gonna slither into his lil slimy den

**LordV** | Today at 2:45 PM

If anyone forgets to spoiler tag, it will be an instant Crucio

**OrionBlack (TheLordBlack)** | Today at 2:48 PM

Our Lord is kind and warns us

We are not worthy

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 2:52 PM

I will also be watching 

**Druella Rosier-Black** | Today at 2:56 PM

That was so fucking cute and happy

I love it

**Cygnus Moon Black** | Today at 2:56 PM

I see Harry typing 

**Harry** | Today at 2:58 PM

haha this is too funny

none of this is really spoilers for me though

tom lets me read the updates early :)

**Lucretia Black** | Today at 3:02 PM

WHAT

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:06 PM

if you weren’t our lord’s boyfriend know that i would gut you

**Harry** | Today at 3:07 PM

noted 👍

* * *

_#first-floor_ | General channel for talking.

* * *

**snarkinson** | Today at 2:49 PM

this is a dictatorship

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 2:51 PM

yes, it is 

**Abraxas Malfoie** | Today at 2:55 PM

WE ARE GLAD TO BE HERE

**The Bloody Baron** | Today at 2:51 PM

I see that Harry is back?

**Harry** | Today at 2:51 PM

yup

**snarkinson** | Today at 2:53 PM

hello potter

**a faithful servant 😈** | Today at 2:54 PM

hello!!

**LordV** | Today at 2:55 PM

If anyone bothers Harry, they will suffer

I will put you under Crucio for a week

**Harry** | Today at 2:57 PM

aww so sweet 

**Nott your friend** | Today at 2:57 PM

Harry has nitro?

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:02 PM

NO NOT MY RANK

DO YOU KNOW WHAT A WHOLE WEEK WILL DO TO ME

**LordV** | Today at 3:04 PM

Then do not bother Harry.

**Harry** | Today at 3:08 PM

tom got it for me for my birthday!! isn’t he the best

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:10 PM

 _coughs_ favouritism

**OrionBlack (TheLordBlack)** | Today at 3:11 PM

BELLA APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR BEHAVIOUR, YOU DISGRACE TO HOUSE BLACK

**Harry** | Today at 3:12 PM

omg nooooo haha it’s ok!!! i don’t take offense 

**LordV** | Today at 3:14 PM

Harry, love, you are too kind to these degenerates

**Harry** | Today at 3:14 PM

no u

**LordV** | Today at 3:15 PM


	8. The Inner Circle

**Inner Circle**

Welcome to the beginning of the **Inner Circle** group.

* * *

> ➡️ **bellatrixie** added **AbraxThisBitch, BCJr, AveryVeryVery,** **PrettiestPeacock** to the group.

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:16 PM

hello

**AveryVeryVery** | Today at 3:18 PM

Bella what is this

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:19 PM

you are the only people i trust

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:20 PM

Barty is still without wifi, though!!

**PrettiestPeacock** | Today at 3:21 PM

I miss him

> **bellatrixie** changed the channel name: **Inner Circle**.

**AveryVeryVery** | Today at 3:22 PM

You don't even have the inner circle role? Neither does Lucius

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:23 PM

it is a crime that i don’t

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:24 PM

No I think it is perfectly reasonable that you don’t

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:24 PM

A CRIME

anyways

now that harry is in the server we must band together and stage a coup

**AveryVeryVery** | Today at 3:25 PM

???

**PrettiestPeacock** | Today at 3:26 PM

Against our Lord?? He’ll kill you

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:27 PM

Bella don’t you think that one apocalypse is enough

Must you cause more problems

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:29 PM

never

and i meant against harry, you imbeciles

how dare he push us all down the ranks

**PrettiestPeacock** | Today at 3:30 PM

What did you expect though?

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:30 PM

I EXPECTED RESPECT

> ➡️ **bellatrixie** added **Andromeda** to the group.

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:33 PM

sister dearest back me up!!!

**Andromeda** | Today at 3:35 PM

No

> ⬅️ **Andromeda** left the group.

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:37 PM

AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH

**AveryVeryVery** | Today at 3:38 PM

Spurned by your own flesh and blood

* * *

**@AbraxThisBitch** _AKA_ Abraxas Malfoie, Bougie Blond Angel Hair Pasta, WIG SNATCHED

* * *

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:31 PM

I AM INNOCENT

I HAVE DONE NOTHING

BUT

Bella is staging another coup and she roped me and Avery into it

**TMR** | Today at 3:31 PM

I swear to god, Abraxas

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:32 PM

I AM INNOCENT I AM VERY SORRY MY LORD

I HAVE FAILED YOU

**TMR** | Today at 3:34 PM

Why is Bella staging another coup?

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:36 PM

She’s upset that you bumped Harry to level 100 and moved us all down the ranks

**TMR** | Today at 3:38 PM

Is that all?

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:41 PM

IS THERE MORE?

NOT AT THE MOMENT

I will continue to monitor the situation for further updates my Lord

**TMR** | Today at 3:42 PM

Who else is involved?

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:43 PM

In the group chat are me, Avery, Barty, Lucius

**TMR** | Today at 3:45 PM

Very well. Continue to report back to me

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 3:45 PM

YES MY LORD OF COURSE MY LORD ANYTHING FOR YOU MY LORD

* * *

**@ThePlotter** _AKA_ Harry, The Chosen One, Plotter

* * *

**TMR** | Today at 3:49 PM

Bella is upset that I bumped your level up

She’s staging a coup

**ThePlotter** | Today at 3:49 PM

is that a thing

**TMR** | Today at 3:50 PM

This is only the second occurence

**ThePlotter** | Today at 3:51 PM

should i be concerned that your loyal followers have tried to oust you twice now

**TMR** | Today at 3:52 PM

It’s only Bella, don’t be ridiculous

**ThePlotter** | Today at 3:52 PM

lmao

**TMR** | Today at 3:53 PM

Don’t ‘lmao’ me

This is a genuine concern

Bella may be loyal at heart to me but she is… fanatical

**ThePlotter** | Today at 3:55 PM

wait are you saying she’s gonna come after ME?

you’re the one who insisted my level be bumped up!!

**TMR** | Today at 3:55 PM

You have nothing to fear

**ThePlotter** | Today at 3:56 PM

see statements like THAT make me Worry

**TMR** | Today at 3:57 PM

Bella will listen to me

Besides, this is all happening online

What’s the worst that could happen?

**ThePlotter** | Today at 3:57 PM

omg why do you even say it like that

now something terrible is going to happen

**TMR** | Today at 3:59 PM

Nothing terrible will happen

**ThePlotter** | Today at 3:59 PM

i don’t believe you

i’m going back into your server to kiss ass

if they like me more then they won’t support her coup


	9. Trade-Offs

_#first-floor_ | General channel for talking.

* * *

**Barty Jr. 🐍** | Today at 3:49 PM

Hello I have returned

You all may rejoice

Except for our Lord, though I hope he is pleased

**regulus black** | Today at 3:51 PM

BARTY YOU’RE BACK

**Abraxas Malfoie | Lucius Best** | Today at 3:55 PM

HELLO

**Sirius Black** | Today at 3:51 PM

welcome back barty

**regulus black** | Today at 3:51 PM

we missed you

**snarkinson** | Today at 3:53 PM

bartemius

**Barty Jr. 🐍** | Today at 3:54 PM

Such a warm welcome

I almost feel loved

**Lucretia Black** | Today at 3:55 PM

YOU ARE LOVED

DEARLY

**Barty Jr. 🐍** | Today at 3:56 PM

So what have I missed?

I see our Lord’s partner has joined the server

**bellatrixie** | Today at 4:02 PM

YEAH AND WE ALL GOT BUMPED DOWN A RANK

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 4:04 PM

oi, you’re on thin ice

**bellatrixie** | Today at 4:06 PM

i fear nothing

not even death

just like jedusor

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 4:08 PM

HIS WHOLE THING IS THAT HE IS AFRAID OF DEATH YOU IDIOT

**bellatrixie** | Today at 4:08 PM

YES AND THEN HE CONQUERED IT, STUPID

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 4:10 PM

fight fight fight

**Harry** | Today at 4:10 PM

hi guys!!

oh no is this a bad time

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 4:11 PM

everything is fine

people will _behave_ if they know what’s good for them

**sharkinson** | Today at 4:12 PM

bold of you to assume bella has brain cells

**bellatrixie** | Today at 4:12 PM

HEY

**OrionBlack (TheLordBlack)** | Today at 4:13 PM

BELLA PLEASE STOP

YOU DISGRACE HOUSE BLACK WITH YOUR COMMENTS AGAINST OUR LORD’S BOYFRIEND

**bellatrixie** | Today at 4:14 PM

MAKE ME

you’re not as scary as mother

**Harry** | Today at 4:15 PM

i think you are all really great and no one needs to be crucio’d, alright?

why don’t we talk about something else 

like our favourite foods !!

**Abraxas Malfoie | Lucius Best** | Today at 4:16 PM

HARRY NO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

**Harry** | Today at 4:17 PM

did i say something wrong? i’m sorry :(

**bellatrixie** | Today at 4:18 PM

fuck all of you. MAYO IS GREAT

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 4:20 PM

 **@Andromeda Black** bella is talking m*yo again

**Andromeda Black** | Today at 4:25 PM

MAYO IS FUCKING DISGUSTING AND THIS IS WHY I LEFT THE FAMILY

YOU GODLESS HERETICS

**sharkinson** | Today at 4:26 PM

you still have black in your nickname

**Andromeda** | Today at 4:29 PM

STOP SUMMONING ME FOR CURSED SHIT

**_-SCREECHES-_ **

**Harry** | Today at 4:31 PM

um okay how about we talk about tea instead

tea is safe

wholesome

leafy bits steeped in hot water

**bellatrixie** | Today at 4:33 PM

i hate tea

* * *

**@AbraxThisBitch** _AKA_ Abraxas Malfoie | Lucius Best, Bougie Blond Angel Hair Pasta, WIG SNATCHED

* * *

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 4:31 PM

MY LORD

I have been in talks with Orion

**TMR** | Today at 4:31 PM

How many times do I have to tell you: INCLUDE CONTEXT WHEN YOU MESSAGE ME

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 4:32 PM

KJGHSKROIAEJSRHDL SORRY SORRY SORRY

ONE MINUTE I WILL PROVIDE CONTEXT

**TMR** | Today at 4:34 PM

...

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 4:36 PM

MY MOST GLORIOUS LORD,

I have been in talks with Orion Black regarding the gross misconduct of his niece, Bellatrix. He has agreed to provide aid in exchange for his own Channel Category labelled Black Manor.

YOUR DEVOTED INNER CIRCLE SERVANT

Mwah,

Abraxy

**TMR** | Today at 4:38 PM

What.

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 4:41 PM

WAS I UNCLEAR

MY APOLOGIES

**TMR** | Today at 4:42 PM

Orion wants an entire category? The _nerve_ of him

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 4:43 PM

I’m sorry my Lord

**TMR** | Today at 4:45 PM

I’ll have to think on how to handle this. You may tell Orion to expect an answer shortly

**AbraxThisBitch** | Today at 4:45 PM

I SHALL

* * *

_#first-floor_ | General channel for talking.

* * *

**Draco #TheOnlyRelevant Malfoy** | Today at 4:49 PM

but I'm your _only_ grandchild

**Abraxas Malfoie | Lucius Best** | Today at 4:51 PM

You have much to learn, Draco

How else will you win our Lord’s favour like me????

**Draco #TheOnlyRelevant Malfoy** | Today at 4:51 PM

okay I’ll bite

what do I need to do

**Abraxas Malfoie | Lucius Best** | Today at 4:53 PM

The 3 S's

Simp

Sorry

Suck-Up

**Draco #TheOnlyRelevant Malfoy** | Today at 4:55 PM

that’s so sad

applying for a new Grandfather

**Abraxas Malfoie | Draco Worst** | Today at 4:51 PM

WOW

**Draco #TheOnlyRelevant Malfoy** | Today at 4:51 PM

WAIT NO

I take it back

**Abraxas Malfoie | Draco Worst** | Today at 4:53 PM

TOO LATE

**Harry** | Today at 4:54 PM

the family drama here is terrifying

**Narcissa** | Today at 4:55 PM

Ignore Draco he’s a ferret

  
  
 **Draco #TheOnlyRelevant Malfoy** | Today at 4:51 PM

Did my mother call me a Ferret?

**Harry** | Today at 4:59 PM

ferrets can be cute!! 

anyways who wants to hear cute boyfriend stories about tom

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 5:02 PM

**Lucretia Black** | Today at 5:04 PM

YES PLEASE

FEED US, LORD HARRY

**Harry** | Today at 5:04 PM

um okay!! there are lots of options

like the first time we met, or maybe our first date? has he told these stories yet?

**Narcissa** | Today at 5:06 PM

he has not

**snapey snapey doo** | Today at 5:08 PM

**walburga black** | Today at 5:08 PM

give us the romance, king!!

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 5:08 PM

the lord could not have chosen a better mate to romance with, and as a humble death eater (and occasional sugar baby) there is nothing better! my life has officially peaked, my crops watered, my skin clear and my awareness at it highest!

**Harry** | Today at 5:10 PM

haha okay

**dolohov's side chick** | Today at 5:12 PM

i would throw all my children off mount everest for just a glance from you

**Harry** | Today at 5:15 PM

so uh let me start at the beginning then!!


	10. A Special Project

**@BCJr** _AKA_ **Barty Jr. 🐍** , Bart(y)ender, Barty | Big Brain

* * *

**BCJr** | Today at 5:49 PM

Milord I have been hard at work on your project even without wifi

**TMR** | Today at 5:50 PM

Finally, some good news. How is it looking?

**BCJr** | Today at 5:51 PM

_special_project.jpg_

**TMR** | Today at 5:52 PM

Hmm

**BCJr** | Today at 5:52 PM

Does it meet your approval?

I can make changes

**TMR** | Today at 5:55 PM

No, no, you’ve done well

I wonder what Harry will think

**BCJr** | Today at 5:55 PM

Oh

Yes he is in the server now

**TMR** | Today at 5:55 PM

I am sure he will like it

**BCJr** | Today at 5:56 PM

If I may ask milord

Does he like our other offerings

The emojis?

**TMR** | Today at 5:57 PM

He’s mentioned them to me, yes

He has seen them

**BCJr** | Today at 5:57 PM

Okay

**TMR** | Today at 5:59 PM

Your efforts are appreciated

**BCJr** | Today at 5:59 PM

Thank you milord

I will let you know when the project is complete

* * *

_#first-floor_ | General channel for talking.

* * *

**Harry** | Today at 6:10 PM

and then tom asked me to be his boyfriend

it was really sweet

he had a speech and everything

truly the most talent writer

we have the best romance in the world

**walburga black** | Today at 6:12 PM

wish i could have it

**Cygnus Moon Black** | Today at 6:13 PM

**The Bloody Baron** | Today at 6:13 PM

Wish I could live it

**fudge's dirty little secret** | Today at 6:14 PM

best couple! wish i could live it

**Hell-ena** | Today at 6:15 PM

Wish _I_ could live it

**Abraxas Malfoie | Draco Worst** | Today at 6:16 PM

Helena and the Baron used to be a Couple

But alas

No longer

**Harry** | Today at 6:17 PM

oh okay

awkward haha

**Barty Jr. 🐍** | Today at 6:18 PM

a beautiful story, Lord Harry

**Harry** | Today at 6:18 PM

thank you!!

also, who is “fudge's dirty little secret”

**fudge's dirty little secret** | Today at 6:20 PM

dolohov dumped me :(

**Abraxas Malfoie | Draco Worst** | Today at 6:25 PM

DOLOHOV DUMPED YOU

OH NO

**fudge's dirty little secret** | Today at 6:26 PM

he's broke now anyways so ,,,,, thank you next

thank you for expressing concern anyways abraxas! :D

**Cygnus Moon Black** | Today at 6:29 PM

Why is that concerning

**Harry** | Today at 6:31 PM

i’m glad you’re moving on in such a healthy way!!

i hope fudge is a nicer boyfriend(?) to you

**fudge's dirty little secret** | Today at 6:33 PM

im planning to kill him

  
  


* * *

_#the-chamber_ | Private channel for Harry and I.

* * *

**Harry** | Today at 7:03 PM

so much of what happens here is so very very very concerning

**LordV** | Today at 7:04 PM

Why do you say so?

**Harry** | Today at 7:06 PM

LOOK AT **#first-floor**

**LordV** | Today at 7:07 PM

Ah

I do hope she settles down with someone soon

It’s getting a bit bland

**Harry** | Today at 7:09 PM

?????????????????

**LordV** | Today at 7:11 PM

Don’t take it so seriously

**Harry** | Today at 7:11 PM

i-

**LordV** | Today at 7:12 PM

Harry, who do you take me for?

No one is committing murder

**Harry** | Today at 7:13 PM

you have an emoji for MASS MURDER

**LordV** | Today at 7:14 PM

It’s a representation of Elvis Jedusor’s character

**Harry** | Today at 7:15 PM

goddddd

**LordV** | Today at 7:15 PM

They’re all very lovely people, really

**Harry** | Today at 7:17 PM

i don’t doubt that some of them are very lovely people

it’s the ones that are seemingly NOT that worry me

**LordV** | Today at 7:19 PM

I am telling you there is nothing to worry about

Besides, there are more important problems to deal with

**Harry** | Today at 7:22 PM

yes, like how bella is going to stage a coup and usurp me as 2nd place in this server

how would that even work, btw

aren’t you the only one who can add levels

**LordV** | Today at 7:23 PM

Abraxas and Barty also have permissions

**Harry** | Today at 7:25 PM

that makes me feel a little better

we should make clear that i Do Not have permissions

then she’ll leave me alone and blame you all instead

**LordV** | Today at 7:27 PM

Speaking of Barty, I’ve had him working on a project for me

**Harry** | Today at 7:29 PM

oh? what kind of project

also don’t think i have been diverted (hah) from my goal

i refuse to accept responsibility for your actions

**LordV** | Today at 7:31 PM

He’s been coding a new bot for the server

**Harry** | Today at 7:33 PM

that’s really cool omg

what does it do?

**LordV** | Today at 7:35 PM

Let me show you this first

**Harry** | Today at 7:36 PM

?

**LordV** | Today at 7:37 PM

_special_project.jpg_

**Harry** | Today at 7:41 PM

i’m breaking up with you


	11. Payment

_#announcements_ | Announcements for the server.

* * *

**LordV** | Today at 8:12 PM

Dear **@Death Eaters** ,

A few new updates regarding the server.

1\. For those of you who keep asking, no, Harry's role of **@Best Boyfriend in the World** was not self-assigned, as I am the only person with role creation permissions, and I WILL NOT be entertaining discussions on this matter. The role is for aesthetic purposes and does not allow administrative privileges.

2\. I have created new categories to support our growing ranks. As such, some of the channels have been rearranged and two new channel categories have been created. You may also find the new layout in **#mandates**.

**Category: Judesor Manor**

> _#first-floor_ | General channel for talking.
> 
> _#second-floor_ | Also for general talking.
> 
> _#the-graveyard_ | Channel for NSFW talking.

**Category: Riddle Manor**

> _#the-great-hall_ | For discussion on my current works.
> 
> _#the-library_ | For discussion on my past works.
> 
> _#the-trophy-room_ | For compiled links and information on all my works.

**Category: Black Manor**

> _#dueling-hall_ | For discussion on other Jevans works in the fandom.
> 
> _#rewards_ | For using Dark Mark and other bots. THIS IS A NO CHAT CHANNEL.
> 
> _#archive_ | For archiving notable server moments.

* * *

_#dueling-hall_ | For discussion on other Jevans works in the fandom.

* * *

**Welcome to #duelling-hall!**

This is the start of the #duelling-hall channel.

  
  
  


**bellatrixie** | Today at 8:13 PM

FIRST

**sharkinson** | Today at 8:14 PM

_slow clap_

**Cygnus Black LIKE SIG IN SIGNAL** | Today at 8:15 PM

Finally a place for us to talk about willow’s fics!!

**Severus Snape | MyPotionRomance** | Today at 8:16 PM

did they update today?

**Druella Rosier-Black** | Today 8:20 PM

we can hope

**regulus black** | Today 8:22 PM

i am so behind

i need to catch up

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 8:27 PM

i’ve been talking to him in the comments 

**Astoria Greener-Than-Grass** | Today 8:30 PM

Imagine if he joined our Lord’s server

**fudge's dirty little secret** | Today 8:31 PM

THAT WOULD BE SO AMAZING

EVAN PLEASE ASK HIM

  
  


* * *

_#second-floor_ | Also for general talking.

* * *

**bellatrixie** | Today 8:22 PM

 **@Harry** we are mortal enemies now

sorry i don't make the rules

you live because our lord permits

but know that in my heart of hearts

i detest your existence

**Sirius Black** | Today 8:25 PM

(vine voice) i heard you were talking shit

**Harry** | Today 8:26 PM

i don't know what to say to that

:(

can't we all be friends

**bellatrixie** | Today 8:28 PM

over my dead body

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today 8:35 PM

if that's what you want-

**bellatrixie** | Today 8:36 PM

i fear nothing

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today 8:37 PM

!temprole **@bellatrixie** 1h **@Crucio**

**Nagini [BOT]** | Today at 6:45 PM

> Temporary role added
> 
> **@bellatrixie** has been granted the **@Crucio** role for 1 hour.

**bellatrixie | unfairly crucio’d** | Today 8:36 PM

this is an abuse of power

i demand a retrial

 **@Inner Circle** RETRIAL

**Abraxas Malfoie | DRACO BEST** | Today at 8:40 PM

SORRY I’VE GOTTA GO

THE PEACOCKS ARE CALLING MY NAME I MUST MILK THEM OR WHATEVER

  
  


* * *

_#first-floor_ | General channel for talking.

* * *

**Narcissa | Better of the Blacks** | Today at 8:50 PM

> **@Abraxas Malfoie | DRACO BEST** has put together this helpful list of instructions on how to avoid Crucio in this server:  
>   
> The 3 S's  
>   
> 1\. Simp  
> 2\. Sorry  
> 3\. Suck-Up

Now that I truly look at it, I don't do any of these

I can't simp, being sorry is only for our lord, and sucking up is too much work

**regulus black** | Today 8:55 PM

we simp at dawn

it's always dawn somewhere

**Abraxas Malfoie | DRACO BEST** | Today at 8:56 PM

That list is why I'm still alive

3 is a magical number

I am honoured to be included in our Lord’s Mandates

**Harry** | Today at 9:00 PM

Lord Boyfriend is truly benevolent

**Daphne "Ice Queen" Greengrass** | Today at 9:01 PM

 _giggles_ Lord Boyfriend?

**Harry** | Today at 9:03 PM

he is my lord boyfriend

**Druella Rosier-Black** | Today 9:05 PM

Our Lord is so whipped

**bellatrixie | unfairly crucio’d** | Today 9:10 PM

@ **Abraxas Malfoie | DRACO BEST** RETRIAL YOU SWINE

**Abraxas Malfoie | DRACO BEST** | Today at 9:12 PM

MAKE ME

DO IT

MAKE ME

DO IT

DO IT

* * *

**@bellatrixie** aka **bellatrixie | unfairly crucio’d**

* * *

**ThePlotter** | Today at 9:20 PM

so uh, hi bella

i just wanted to ask if maybe we could talk things out?

i know you’re upset about the ranks thing and i agree it’s kind of unfair but tom really likes giving/doing things for me to show that he cares so i have a hard time saying no

**bellatrixie** | Today at 9:31 PM

oh don’t worry i’m not actually mad

**ThePlotter** | Today at 9:31 PM

what?

**bellatrixie** | Today at 9:32 PM

it’s all just for fun :)

**ThePlotter** | Today at 9:34 PM

ohhhhhhh

okay

that’s good to know!

**bellatrixie** | Today at 9:35 PM

yeah i don’t hate you or anything

sorry if that’s how i came across!!

**ThePlotter** | Today at 9:36 PM

no you’re good! it’s all fine

haha

i was a bit worried for a while but i’m glad it’s cleared up now

**bellatrixie** | Today at 9:38 PM

eh i will come for your rank though 🔪🔪

no mercy in the rankings

**ThePlotter** | Today at 9:39 PM

that’s fair

**bellatrixie** | Today at 9:40 PM

i have to sleep now tho so :')

**ThePlotter** | Today at 9:45 PM

good night!! 

  
  


* * *

_#the-chamber_ | Private channel for Harry and I.

* * *

**Harry** | Today at 10:03 PM

ok so i DMd bella and talked it out with her

no more coup

**LordV** | Today at 10:04 PM

What?

**Harry** | Today at 10:06 PM

well not no more coup

she still wants to take her rank back

but that’s fine! i don’t care about that

**LordV** | Today at 10:07 PM

I already agreed to Orion’s deal and made the announcement

Why didn’t you say something sooner

**Harry** | Today at 10:09 PM

i only messaged her just now

also HEY, no backing out on what you promised me

you owe me

your stupid special project

**LordV** | Today at 10:11 PM

Fine

**Harry** | Today at 10:11 PM

hah

now they’re _definitely_ going to think you’re whipped

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 10:13 PM

Shut up

  
  



	12. Harryify

**@BCJr** _AKA_ **Barty Jr. 🐍** , Bart(y)ender, Barty | Big Brain

* * *

**BCJr** | Today at 9:49 AM

I have tested the bot on my private server milord

Everything looks fine

**TMR** | Today at 9:50 AM

That’s excellent. May I see?

**BCJr** | Today at 9:51 AM

Yes one moment

[ https://discord.gg/j37wHR](https://discord.gg/j37wHR)

> YOU SENT AN INVITE TO JOIN A SERVER
> 
> **BBB** #general

  
  


* * *

_#general_ | Main Channel

* * *

> ➡️ **TMR hopped into the server.** Today at 9:55 AM

**Barty** | Today at 9:56 AM

Welcome milord

Feel free to test the bot

**TMR** | Today at 9:56 AM

~harryify test 

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 9:58 AM

**Barty** | Today at 9:58 AM

What do you think?

**TMR** | Today at 9:59 AM

Full character set?

**Barty** | Today at 10:01 AM

It has numbers

No punctuation yet, but I can add that later

There are ! and ? though

Also I added ❤️ as you asked me to

**TMR** | Today at 10:02 AM

~harryify test ❤️

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 10:02 AM

❤️

**TMR** | Today at 10:03 AM

Well done

**Barty** | Today at 10:03 AM

Thank you :D

It is an honor to serve milord

**TMR** | Today at 10:05 AM

This is impressive

How long did it take you?

**Barty** | Today at 10:08 AM

I’m not sure

I worked on it when I had spare time

**TMR** | Today at 10:10 AM

Understandable

How do I add it to the server?

**Barty** | Today at 10:12 AM

There is a link but I have to authorize it for public use

Or I can add it directly if you give me permissions

**TMR** | Today at 10:15 AM

I’ll have it done in a minute

**Barty** | Today at 10:17 AM

Okay

If you want anything else let me know and I’ll make notes

  
  


* * *

**@ThePlotter** _AKA_ Harry, The Chosen One, Plotter

* * *

**TMR** | Today at 10:19 AM

Barty finished the bot

I am going to have him add it to the server shortly

**ThePlotter** | Today at 10:34 AM

oh shit sorry i was in class

oh no

oh my god

i’m scared

i don’t want to look

**TMR** | Today at 10:50 AM

It’s hardly that dire, Harry

**ThePlotter** | Today at 10:51 AM

uh yes i think it is

do you not remember the monstrosity you showed me???

did you wipe it from your brain???

i tried to do that yesterday but sadly it did not happen

i’ll try again later today by bashing my head on my desk

fingers crossed 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

**TMR** | Today at 10:55 AM

Just go and look, I’m sure it is not as awful as you think

**ThePlotter** | Today at 10:55 AM

are you not **_sure???????_**

**TMR** | Today at 10:56 AM

Well, you see

Barty added it, I lingered a bit, then I had more important things to do

**ThePlotter** | Today at 10:58 AM

nooooooo

tom

TOM

it’s going to be chaos in there

you don’t understand

**TMR** | Today at 11:01 AM

I think I know my own server better than you do

**ThePlotter** | Today at 11:02 AM

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE

THIS IS A FUNDAMENTAL PERSONALITY FLAW OF YOURS

YOU ONLY THINK YOU DO

**TMR** | Today at 11:05 AM

Rude

**ThePlotter** | Today at 11:07 AM

hhhhhhhh okay i’m gonna be brave and go look

wish me luck

**TMR** | Today at 11:07 AM

We’ll look together

**ThePlotter** | Today at 11:07 AM

not reassuring but yes you deserve to witness the destruction you’ve wrought

  
  


* * *

_#second-floor_ | Also for general talking.

* * *

**former side hoe I now barty's gf** | Today at 11:02 AM

good morning everyone! have you worshipped our lord yet ?

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO GROVEL

**regulus black** | Today at 11:05 AM

~harryify GROVEL

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 11:05 AM

**Severus Snape | MyPotionRomance** | Today at 11:06 AM

~harryify GROVEL

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 11:06 AM

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 11:08 AM

this is terrifying

**former side hoe I now barty's gf** | Today at 11:09 AM

~harryify GROVEL!!

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 11:06 AM

❕❕

**Lucretia Black** | Today at 11:10

~harryify GROVEL!!

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 11:06 AM

❕❕❕

**Abraxas Malfoie | DRACO 4 LYFE** | Today at 11:13 AM

GROVEL????

I THINK YOU MEAN (S #1: SUCK-UP)

~HARRYIFY SUCK-UP

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 11:13 AM

**former side hoe I now barty's gf** | Today at 11:15 AM

~HARRYIFY SIMP

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 11:16 AM

**Abraxas Malfoie | DRACO 4 LYFE** | Today at 11:13 AM

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Dorea Black-Potter** | Today at 11:18 AM

wait until harry comes on 

  
  


* * *

_#the-chamber_ | Private channel for Harry and I.

* * *

**Harry** | Today at 11:23 AM

WTF WHY IS THE BOT NAMED THAT

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 11:25 AM

I don’t actually remember why...

**Harry** | Today at 11:27 AM

tom this is terrible

bad enough i’m puking rainbow dick

why does it have to be uwu

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 11:28 AM

It would not make sense to name the bot “Harry”

That would be confusing

**Harry** | Today at 11:30 AM

IS THAT YOUR ONLY DEFENSE

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 11:31 AM

Yes

**Harry** | Today at 11:32 AM

you’re terrible

i’m breaking up with you again

~divorce **@LordBoyfriend**

**SunnieBot [BOT]** | Today at 11:32 AM

> You have divorced, but are you truly free?
> 
> 🎵 _Every move you make, and every vow you break._
> 
> _Every smile you fake, every claim you stake,_
> 
> _I'll be watching you._ 🎵
> 
> You are now married 1,578 times.

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 11:34 AM

I’m heartbroken


	13. Proposing Marriage

_#rewards_ | For using Dark Mark and other bots. THIS IS A NO CHAT CHANNEL.

* * *

**Druella Rosier-Black** | Today at 1:32 PM

~marry **@regulus black**

**SunnieBot [BOT]** | Today at 1:32 PM

 **@Druella Rosier-Black** has proposed!!

To accept this proposal, type '~marry **@Druella Rosier-Black** '.

**regulus black** | Today at 1:34 PM

~marry **@Druella Rosier-Black**

**SunnieBot [BOT]** | Today at 1:34 PM

You renew your vows! You are now married 27 times. Congratulations!! 

**regulus black** | Today at 1:34 PM

almost thirty!

**Druella Rosier-Black** | Today at 1:35 PM

* * *

_#dueling-hall_ | For discussion on other Jevans works in the fandom.

* * *

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 2:03 PM

 **@here** WILLOW UPDATED AND RESPONDED TO MY COMMENT

**legal baby malfoy** | Today at 2:03 PM

?

**Nott your friend** | Today at 2:03 PM

Why

**Hell-ena** | Today at 2:04 PM

An update?

**Draco #TheOnlyRelevant Malfoy** | Today at 2:04 PM

I don’t think a ping was a good idea for this

**Severus Snape | MyPotionRomance** | Today at 2:05 PM

maybe we should have a role for other updates?

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 2:05 PM

why ping

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 2:07 PM

if i get crucio it’s worth it

**snarkinson** | Today at 2:09 PM

LINK COWARD

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 2:10 PM

[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/26783743/chapters/65337952](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26783743/chapters/65337952)

> **Baby Steps - Chapter 13 - willow_whomper - James Ev…**
> 
> An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
> 
> Organization for Transformative Works

**snarkinson** | Today at 2:11 PM

THANK U AVERY

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 2:12 PM

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 2:15 PM

The @/here ping is not meant for excessive usage

**Severus Snape | MyPotionRomance** | Today at 2:17 PM

can we have a role for it?

other fic updates

**Lucretia Black** | Today at 2:19 PM

^^^

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 2:22 PM

sorry about the ping bUT 

milord he might join the server

another addition to your illustrious ranks!!

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 2:26 PM

The **@Literature Circle** role can now be applied using the Dark Mark bot

I will make an announcement shortly

Evan, see that it does not happen again

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 2:28 PM

milord is merciful, thank you

**Avery | HeadOfHouseAvery** | Today at 2:29 PM

Splendid, thank you

**Lucius** | Today at 2:31

Thank you!

**Hell-ena** | Today at 2:32 PM

YES THANK YOU

**Severus Snape | MyPotionRomance** | Today at 2:33 PM

~harryify thank you

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 2:33 PM

**snarkinson** | Today at 2:37 PM

unrelated but lord boyfriend still makes me crack up

* * *

_#second-floor_ | Also for general talking.

* * *

**Narcissa | Better of the Blacks** | Today at 3:17 PM

If Willow joins the server then you all will have to behave for once

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:18 PM

bold of you to assume that you've seen my worst

i fear no crucio

**regulus black** | Today at 3:19 PM

every time you say that i feel like you get crucio

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:22 PM

i _will_ level up today

if i don't level today i'm committing a crime

**legal baby malfoy** | Today at 3:25 PM

ominous

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:26 PM

:)

**Abraxas Malfoie | DRACO 4 LYFE** | Today at 3:30 PM

I AM WATCHING

ALWAYS

**bellatrixie** | Today at 3:34 PM

:)

**Abraxas Malfoie | DRACO 4 LYFE** | Today at 3:35 PM

W A T C H I N G

**Evan Rosier | most faithful** | Today at 3:46 PM

time to Compose my Reply to Willow

**OrionBlack (TheLordBlack)** | Today at 3:48 PM

good luck!!

**Barty Jr.🐍** |Today at 3:50 PM

Good luck

**Lucius** | Today at 3:51 PM

Good luck! :)

* * *

_#rewards_ | For using Dark Mark and other bots. THIS IS A NO CHAT CHANNEL.

* * *

**Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** | Today at 5:32 PM

~marry **@LordBoyfriend**

**SunnieBot [BOT]** | Today at 5:32 PM

 **@Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** has proposed!!

To accept this proposal, type '~marry **@Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** '.

**regulus black** | Today at 5:34 PM

aww so cute

how many times are you guys married?

i never see our lord ping his marriage list here

**Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** | Today at 5:35 PM

~marriages

**SunnieBot [BOT]** | Today at 5:36 PM

✨ **@Harry** **| Best Boyfriend Ever’s Marriages** ✨

 **1** LordV 

**Druella-Rosier Black** | Today at 5:37 PM

Oh wow so many

**regulus black** | Today at 5:38 PM

exclusive 🥺

**Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** | Today at 5:39 PM

haha yea tom and i are the cutest couple 

if he tried to marry anyone else i would 🥺 🔪

**snarkinson** | Today at 5:41 PM

hawwy is yandere confirmed

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 5:55 PM

~marry **@Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever**

**SunnieBot [BOT]** | Today at 5:55 PM

You renew your vows! You are now married 1,579 times. Congratulations!! 

**Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** | Today at 5:57 PM

tooooooooooooooooom i made hot cocoa get out of your nerd cave

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 6:02 PM

I’m writing

**Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** | Today at 6:05 PM

my body demands cuddles

you can write while we cuddle

i'll be your super sexy muse

~harryify cuddles

**Hawwy [BOT]** | Today at 6:05 PM

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 6:07 PM

Fine, I’ll be there in a minute

**Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** | Today at 6:07 PM

:D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a transition chapter before we get our hands into some plot 


	14. Willow Whomper

_#entrance-hall_ | Welcoming new Death Eaters.

* * *

**Nagini [BOT]**

> **WELCOME TO DIVERSIONS.**
> 
> Welcome **Willow Whomper#2082** to Diversions 💀
> 
> **@Willow Whomper** , please read **#introduction** and **#mandates** before proceeding to other channels.
> 
> If you have questions, members of my **@Inner Circle** are available to be pinged for assistance.
> 
> We now have 178 Death Eaters.

**Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** | Today at 7:07 AM

welcome!

**Lucius** | Today at 7:08 AM

Welcome!!

**Daphne "Ice Queen" Greengrass** | Today at 7:08 AM

Welcome

**bellatrixie** | Today at 7:09 AM

wELCOME WILLOW

**former side hoe I now barty's gf** | Today at 7:10 AM

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WOW ?!??!??!?!?

the author of so many literary masterpieces has graced us with his presence

PERFECTION

**Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** | Today at 7:10 AM

wait

**Willow Whomper** | Today at 7:11 AM

hi guys! thanks for the warm welcome :)

**snarkinson** | Today at 7:12 AM

DAMN

evan did it

I’VE READ YOUR STUFF LIKE 500 TIMES

**Willow Whomper** | Today 7:13 AM

oh hey, that’s right

i think i’ve seen your comments before

thank you!

**snarkinson** | Today at 7:15 AM

hhhh

your fics are legend

**Cygnus Black LIKE SIG IN SIGNAL** | Today at 7:15 AM

Welcome!!

**OrionBlack (TheLordBlack)** | Today at 7:16 AM

thank you for ALL THE FICS

SO AMAZING

**bellatrixie** | Today at 7:16 AM

i would sell my firstborn for a new chapter

**Cedric aka Willow** | Today 7:17 AM

lol no need for that

**Druella Rosier-Black** | Today at 7:20 AM

Welcome!! Is it okay if I ask where you got your username from? Some of us have been very curious

**Cedric aka Willow** | Today 7:22 AM

not a problem

it’s actually a dumb joke

some of my friends and i joked around and then i kind of got stuck with it?

bane of my existence, really

**Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** | Today at 7:27 AM

 **@Cedric aka Willow** i want to say that i REALLY love your characterization of james evans in ‘any stranger’? you did _fantastic_ job of capturing his emotional struggle and building on his character development. i could really feel how painful it was for him. it’s so hard to nail that balance of loving someone, seeing them as a person, but also knowing that isn’t going to be enough? is such a fucking hard call to make, an even harder thing to actually **_do._ ** which makes it all so much worse when james decides he has to leave jedusor behind.

i was **screaming** when it happened??? james has already had such a shitty life and jedusor was the only person he felt he could rely on and i wanted to grab both of them and knock their heads together oh my fucking god. the worst part was i could **_understand_ ** why they were both upset and mad and it wasn’t even miscommunication, they had fundamental differences in opinion and that was heartbreaking. it was hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i knew it was going to happen but it still HURT like a god damn BASTARD. i hate you for it but i also don’t because i need the next chapter like i need air

but honestly i lay in bed for like an hour after that chapter just thinking about it, trying to put myself in his shoes??? it was like i watched him crumble from the inside and it was so bloody realistic. but it was also a weight off the chest that he finally got to feel free from all those responsibilities he had. idk. the way you write him just really nailed his character for me. he’s entirely relatable and i felt like i had my heart torn out and stomped on by a horde of elephants.

also this message is so long and embarrassing and i’m going to go launch myself into the ocean now thanks. nice meeting you willow

**Druella Rosier-Black** | Today at 7:29 AM

YES HARRY

It deserves WAY more recognition

**Cedric aka Willow** | Today 7:37 AM

 **@Harry | Hottest Boyfriend Ever** oh wow. first off, thank you for reading. “Any Stranger” is a story i’m very proud of. comments like yours make my day!! james’s character is very important to me. i admire him in the books for sticking to his guns and never taking shit from anyone. the fact that he is capable of such profound emotion is what draws elvis to him and, later, makes elvis fall in love with him. it also means that as you said the betrayal of leaving hurts because the love is there, it just isn’t enough to overcome his moral objections. i wish we saw more of their relationship explored in canon because i do feel like they have a lot more in common with each other than people realize. but yeah no need to be embarrassed! i appreciate hearing your thoughts and insights on my writing.

**former side hoe I now barty's gf** | Today at 7:40 AM

THIS IS ALL SO INSIGHTFUL WOW

LORD HARRY IS SO INTELLIGENT

_sobs on the ground_

**Evan Rosier | Most Faithful** | Today at 8:10 AM

YOU’RE WELCOME MILORD

**snarkinson** | Today at 8:15 AM

shut up oh my god

  
  


* * *

_#rewards_ | For using Dark Mark and other bots. THIS IS A NO CHAT CHANNEL.

* * *

**Evan Rosier | Most Faithful** | Today at 8:38 AM

 **@Cedric aka Willow** i want to marry you with the bot

**Cedric aka Willow** | Today at 8:38 AM

okay, how does it work?

**Evan Rosier | Most Faithful** | Today at 8:39 AM

~marry **@Cedric aka Willow**

**SunnieBot [BOT]** | Today at 8:39 AM

 **@Evan Rosier | Most Faithful** has proposed!!

To accept this proposal, type '~marry **@Evan Rosier | Most Faithful** '.

**Cedric aka Willow** | Today at 8:40 AM

~marry **@Evan Rosier | Most Faithful**

**SunnieBot [BOT]** | Today at 8:40 AM

Congratulations to **@Evan Rosier | Most Faithful** and **@Cedric aka Willow** —the newly weds!! 

**Evan Rosier | Most Faithful** | Today at 8:41 AM

uwu

**Cedric aka Willow** | Today at 8:40 AM

**Violent Psychological Fragment** | Today at 8:42 AM

Lord Boyfriend’s got competition in the monogamy department

**Lucretia Black** | Today at 8:43 AM

_GASP_

I wonder what's Harry's opinion on this.

**former side hoe I now barty's gf** | Today at 8:43 AM

ONLY OUR LORDS KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF ROMANCE

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 8:45 AM

No. Chatting. In. This. Channel.

**Lucretia Black** | Today at 8:46 AM

Oh no

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 8:46 AM

!temprole **@Violent Psychological Fragment** 1h **@Crucio**

**Nagini** | Today at 8:46 AM

> Temporary role added
> 
> **@Violent Psychological Fragment** has been granted the **@Crucio** role for 1 hour.

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 8:46 AM

!temprole **@Lucretia Black** 1h **@Crucio**

**Nagini** | Today at 8:46 AM

> Temporary role added
> 
> **@Lucretia Black** has been granted the **@Crucio** role for 1 hour.

**LordBoyfriend** | Today at 8:47 AM

!temprole **@former side hoe I now barty's gf** 1h **@Crucio**

**Nagini** | Today at 8:47 AM

> Temporary role added
> 
> **@former side hoe I now barty's gf** has been granted the **@Crucio** role for 1 hour.

**former side hoe I now barty's gf** | Today at 8:47 AM

i have never known true despair until this moment D:

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jealousy? wot's that

**Author's Note:**

> find me & my writing updates on tumblr [here](https://duplicitywrites.tumblr.com)!
> 
> feel free to join my discord server (not tom's) [here](https://discord.gg/BJRP4A5)!


End file.
